Embracing Loneliness: Allowing Yourself to Feel and Heal
Melinda Welch • July 22, 2022
Embracing Loneliness: Allowing Yourself to Feel and Heal
My Mother-In-Law could feel very lonely ..and sometimes she does.
Her spouse died 18 years ago. Her siblings are all gone, (she is the youngest of 11) and her friends are leaving her as well. At age 86 she looks around and sometimes asks, “Where did every body go?”
We can be lonely sitting in a room full of people or all by ourselves. It’s not the amount of people around us…it’s our thoughts about it that create the lonely feeling.
Most days my MIL doesn’t have lonely thoughts.
She has made up her mind to seek out people.
Before Covid she would go many times a week to a nearby Smiths, not really to shop but to say “Hi” to people and to see who she could smile at, and looking for someone she knows.
She still does this a little.
But now, as much as the weather allows, she sits out on her swing in front of her home and waves to cars and says, “Hi” to passersby. Neighbors and family and ward members know she is on her swing waiting for a friend, so she gets many visitors. And if she doesn’t get the human kind, she has colored bird feeders in the nearby tree, and animal sculptures scattered around that keep her entertained.
I’m pretty impressed with her.
She has let it be known that she wants visitors and so she gets them. And when she doesn’t, she doesn’t make it mean anything about her. She enjoys her alone time.
Loneliness is a feeling that is caused by our thoughts.
Thoughts are powerful.
It’s easy to fall into the nobody remembers me, nobody wants to be around me, everybody has friends but me, everybody has something to do but me, nobody is lonely but me thought trap… but why have those thoughts?
Next time you feel lonely- just remind yourself- “I’m feeling lonely because of a thought I’m choosing to think."
You can feel lonely if you want to. Your body can handle it. Don't avoid it or stuff it down. Just feel it.
But.... you can also choose something else.
We are all having a human experience and sometimes that feels like abundance and sometimes it fells like lonely….and it’s all okay.
Take Care,
Melinda
P.S. I would love to talk with you www.melindawelchcoaching.com
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I don’t need anyone’s permission to believe this and there is no downside. When I think about my sister and my parents being with us, I feel connected.